Flip the Lens: See the World as Others See It

A lot of the talk these days about running a business emphasizes planning, scheduling, and efficiency. But there’s a fine line between being efficient and being human.

Sometimes, I ask myself if I have done enough to let others know I appreciate them. I won’t say I do an amazing job of this, but I try to talk to the delivery drivers who serve our business. When FedEx, UPS, or USPS trucks arrive, I try to help them load boxes or at least let them know that I appreciate them. People routinely say “thank you” or “you’re welcome” without thinking much about it, but when another person lets you know that they truly see and appreciate you and your effort, that adds a little extra satisfaction.

In recognition of Sept. 12 as the National Day of Encouragement, this is a good time to reflect on the importance of understanding how other people feel and see the world and reaching out with a word of encouragement when possible.

As readers of this newsletter know, I enjoy podcasts by the speaker and entrepreneur Ed Mylett. He recently stumbled upon a jarring new insight he called “flip the lens.” During a visit to his mother, he held out his phone to take a selfie for Instagram. But the lens flipped unexpectedly, and he took a photo of his mother. That visual surprise unleashed a flood of thoughts.

“Looking at my mom through this lens … I just had this flash of seeing my mom differently. And ironically, seeing my mom see me,” Mylett said. How did she experience their interactions? Did she have as much time with him as she would have liked? Were his visits with her too rushed? Mylett went on to reflect on how others in his life might feel. He had often walked past a crew of craftsmen doing masonry work on his property and made small talk with them. But he had never once mentioned the most encouraging thing he could have said — that he appreciated the excellent quality of their work. To gain a fresh perspective, Mylett said, flip the lens and ask yourself how others see you. Ask yourself how you make them feel. And see how that changes your relationships.

The benefits for others can be profound. When I was about 10 years old, I was a decent baseball player — until I stepped up to bat against a pitcher with a powerful fastball and a serious lack of control. He accidentally threw straight at me. I managed to get everything out of the way except my right leg, and he pelted me hard. It hurt like hell! I had a big old bruise.

I had a hard time staying in the batter’s box after that. All I could think about was getting out of the way of that oncoming pitch. I’m sure most of my teammates dismissed my behavior as lacking in nerve. But one friend took me aside and listened as I told him about my fear.

“Well, what’s the worst thing that can happen?” he asked. “You’re not going to get killed!” It was a reasonable point. I was wearing a helmet, and I probably wasn’t going to get killed. “You just have to hang in there,” my friend said. “You’re going to be all right.” So, I steeled myself. And gradually, I overcame my fear.

Thanks to my friend’s ability to flip the lens and understand my perspective, he gave me exactly the encouragement I needed. Decades later, I still sometimes ask myself, in tough situations, what is the worst that can happen? Then I tell myself, “You can handle it.”

On this National Day of Encouragement, I hope you can flip the lens, see the world through others’ eyes, and offer some heartening words. You may be surprised by the results!

-Josh Walker